STOP
TERROR
STOP
TORTURE
OUT
OF IRAQ
 
 

Saturday, May 14, 2005

KEEP SINGING!

A little G&S parodying for your morning, off this thread at Eschaton:
I am the very model of a right-wing intellectual,
My arguments are pedantic, ill-advised, and ineffectual,
I set up straw men, knock them down, declare myself too smart by half,
And contradict myself at least in every other paragraph;

I take a condescending tone, as if to teach a stubborn child,
I really want to soothe the rabble, keep them docile, keep them mild,
I play at being common man, though strictly of the ruling class,
And can't unravel why I'm called a who-d'you-think-you're-fooling ass.

I dare not ask a question of Dear Leader and his underlings,
They've promised that at some point I'll receive some minor Mordor rings,
So, to the hem of power I cling, and let things go to Heck I will,
In short, the very model of a right-wing intellectual!
---
Chimpy.
Oh, better far to be a jerk
And complain my job is such hard work,
Than talk of problems that we've shared,
And act as if I really cared.
Away to the mundane world go you,
Where having three jobs is better than two;
But I’ll do better than Dad, the wimp,
And live and die a Pirate Chimp.

For I am a Pirate Chimp!
A lying, cheating, bone-stupid imp,
That's me, the Pirate Chimp!

I am a Pirate Chimp!
Chorus.
You are!
Hurrah for our Pirate Chimp!
Chimpy.
A cheerleader, not a commie symp,
That's me, the Pirate Chimp.
Chorus.
He is!
Hurrah for our Pirate Chimp!
Chimpy & Chorus.
Hurrah for the/our Pirate Chimp!

Chimpy.
When I give a speech, my handlers quake,
Ready to correct the least mistake.
I break a few more laws, it’s true,
Than a legal monarch ought to do;
But the problem with democracy
Is it impedes aristocracy,
My circle must stay well-to-do,
How else can we keep from being like you?

For I am a Pirate Chimp!
And for food and health care I won't scrimp,
That's me, the Pirate Chimp!

I am a Pirate Chimp!
Chorus.
You are!
Hurrah for the Pirate Chimp!
Chimpy.
Now bend over and take it till I'm limp,
'Cause I'm the Pirate Chimp.
Chorus.
He is!
Hurrah for our Pirate Chimp!
Chimpy & Chorus.
Hurrah for the/our Pirate Chimp!

Comments:
Heh! That's great fun. I like it!
 
Definitely in the old tradition of G&S patter.

All we need now are a few modded songs from "The Mikado" and we'll have cornered the market in the most pommable G&S songs.
 
Well done, sir!

Though a chimp in a pirate costume would be far cuter than the current White House squatter. Better behaved, too.

'Twas good to see you on Eschaton tonite! Take care of your fine self!
 
Post a Comment

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?